Friday, December 29, 1989


My friend who was in solitude
Afraid not of my anger.
Reassuring me that efforts were not wasted.
Guarded I was,
Always afraid of being hurt,
Rejected, or despised.
Eternally grateful I will remain to someone who
Took the time to try and understand me.

Friday, December 15, 1989


Dreary and frantic,
Endless in nature.
Suicide a possibility.
Eternally begging for a reprieve.
Alone, tortured, isolated.
Only remaining to feel the
Never-ending pain.

Tuesday, November 14, 1989


Haven for those emptied of remorse and shame.
Left alone to live a life of damnation.

Wednesday, November 1, 1989


Searching endlessly for my purpose in life.
Forever lost in my dreams, alone.
Except for my existence,
My sense of identity seems surreal.

A Few Excerpts From My Mind (From Darker Times In My Life)


I have built a fortress for myself,
To protect me from harm.
Years it has taken to erect.
Each day added yet one more brick.
Until now.

And now I can no longer see each sunrise and sunset,
Or the dreams that should have been in my mind.

All that I can see are the illusions.
Illusions of faces that have tried to scale the walls.
Trying to penetrate the mortar that binds each brick to another.

Promises of trust and love cannot serve as footholds,
For too many times they have broken beneath the climber's arch,
Just as their promises have.

I wait patiently on the cool, darkly shaded side of the walls.
Waiting no more for promises which will be broken.

Instead, I await the warm, brilliant sunlight of genuine trust and love
To show me that there is life and a world full of dreams
Beyond the walls of my fortress.

Tuesday, August 15, 1989

Flying Cows and Other Atrocities

A flying cow I saw the other day,
I turned to look and he flew away.
I rushed into town to tell Mrs. Cory,
She only scoffed at such a story.
I went to the schoolyard to convince the kids,
They told the teacher, “This kid’s flipped his lid.”
I sulked on the street on the way to my house,
When there appeared this time a flying mouse.
And trailing behind him, before my own brow,
Was the previously sighted flying cow.
Into my yard I strolled, quite amazed,
Surely I appeared more than just dazed.
There mother sat upon her throne,
My look must have said “Leave me alone.”
She asked where I’d been? How was my day?
I could hardly manage to turn my head away.
She asked did I by chance spot a flying cow.
I looked at her astonished, she knew, but how?
As a child, she said, she saw it too.
I no longer thought of myself as cuckoo.
I don’t know that the truth is what we shared,
But I remember knowing for sure that mother really cared.

Tuesday, August 1, 1989


Battered lives
Overthrown by the reality that no one dared to love them.
Empty and reclusive,
Living lives of inescapable pain.
Never finding the warm, embracing comfort of another soul,
Except in one like theirs.

Thursday, June 15, 1989


In my cave, alone,
And solitude no longer covers or heals these wounds.
They remain open, bleeding profusely.
But no one can see the loneliness I feel,
And no one can penetrate my defensive posture.
For I have learned well the lesson of being kicked when you’re down.
I remain enclosed in my cocoon of anger,
Keeping all possible help at bay.
No one can do any more than they have for or to me.

Monday, May 15, 1989

Worlds Apart

Worlds apart these planets lay,
Alike and different in many ways.
One aches for peace, too many fights,
The other knows nothing but love each night.
We people pray to Gods above,
They only one, a God named Love.
People experience many emotions,
One honors only tranquil devotion.
Our language is common to them, you see,
But their feelings are always allowed to roam free.
No hush placed on feelings of anger and hate,
These words don’t exist as part of their fate.
We have leaders who want a perfect race,
These people appreciate any passing face.
Our lands need water through irrigation,
Their waters flow freely, in full cooperation.
Many of us put our lives on a shelf,
They live their lives for life itself.
There are times we can take,
Times we can leave,
Sometimes we even need time to grieve.
But there are other worlds,
Beyond skies up above,
Where people understand the true meaning of love.