My eyes yearn to look inside your soul,
To know you, love you, embrace you.
Revealing myself to you is something I contemplate with great trepidation.
My mind goes blank when I try to speak, leaving me helpless, grappling with my fear.
Nothing I tell myself allows me to loosen
The grip of terror in which my heart is captured,
The terror that you will leave me.
How I hope you can understand I love you,
I want to be with you,
Evolve with you,
Grow with you.
In time, open up to you.
I have so many insecurities.
People have abandoned me in their frustration, anger, and disgust.
In my heart I always believe this abandonment inevitable.
And so I push people away, before they can leave.
I fear that inherently I am unlovable and in time, you will leave me.
These are my fears, my heart, my love.
I share them with you now so you may understand me a little better.