For My Sweet Zachary

You came into my life as such a surprise,
At a time when my hope was all but gone.
The universe knew this.
It gave you to me as its gift.

To tell me to keep on....
To have hope...
To keep my heart open...
To remain loving, caring, committed...
No matter what the world throws my way.

I was terrified.
Afraid I would not be good enough,
For you,
To you,
With you.

This tiny life inside of me
Continued to grow each day.
And I remained amazed that my body
Could and would sustain such a miracle.
I was profoundly touched
That the universe believed I deserved such honor
To be chosen as your mother.

You arrived eight days early.
And I was giddy with excitement
As I labored to bring your life
Into this world,
To begin your journey
As an independent human being.

And when first I held you,
I'd never seen anything so beautiful
In all of my life.
And I cried that you were mine.
That the waiting was over
And you were here.

For me to love,
To hold,
To nurture,
To protect,
To teach,
To learn to let go.

We have so many years
Of this journey ahead of us.
And already
I've learned so much.
I've learned what really matters.
You are here,
You are safe,
You are healthy,
You are beautiful and happy.

And I've learned
That for now,
Loving you
Is all that I really need to do
To be enough.

I love you Zachary Ryan,
Now and always.

–Love, Mommy
June 11, 2001

Affirmations from "End The Struggle And Dance With Life" by Susan Jeffers, Ph.D.

Life is beautiful, I have it all. But even in the sunshine, one has to cry sometimes.

It's all happening perfectly.

I am enough.

No matter what life decides to hand me, I'll handle it.

Find the blessing. Find the lesson to be learned. Find the strength you never thought you had. Find the triumph.

We were born to learn, to grow, to expand, to love, to create, to enjoy, to see the beauty in all things–including ourselves. But we weren't born to be perfect!

The only thing we can effectively control is our reactions to whatever life hands us.

Use and enjoy that which enriches your life. Let go of that which is just excess baggage.

If you are not enjoying yourself, you are wasting your time!

Taking things for granted is one of the greatest assaults on the quality of our lives.

When we focus on abundance, our life feels abundant; when we focus on lack, our life feels lacking. It is simply a matter of focus.

If we saw ourselves as perpetual beginners, we would be much kinder to ourselves.

Humor creates a shift in perception that allows us to center ourselves in a powerful place.

Spiritual growth is not a destination. It is a forever process of learning and expanding and exploring and discovering.

Trust you know what is right for you at any particular time.

If you haven't made any mistakes lately, you must be doing something wrong!

Embrace the journey...embrace who you are...embrace all there is...